Tuesday, March 24, 2015
What Can I Do for Penance?
Lock myself up? At least I thought not to get into this. I learned to ignore and solve. :/
I feel so bad.
I mean, my dad kept poking at me in a mad way. I can't believe I did this! I need to make a vow not to do this online. I followed each thing carefully and didn't go crazy but needed caps for expression. I understand if people don't like me. I don't need bad influence. I felt safe in reality, tho. It's just that online and sometimes in my head. I am annoyed about Bella because they are not being nice about her. They are supposed to be mean for Ellen. I disagree. It hurts and I'm not submitting. I don't know why she does this.
I'm really sorry..
..the amount of writing got out of hand. I figured it out.. I should just be quiet, which I was. I was disturbed by the secret messages. I just don't wanna talk about this stuff, in a way, but already "made my point my point."
Do you want to be bothered?
Do you want Bella following you around getting your attention? She has her own kind of attention.
This is my blog.
I need it for my mental health. Don't act like I was the one who had an episode. I still get what I had. Maybe not, maybe different for me. I don't want this to be a deciding factor of what wasn't meant to be. I see it's not but that it's harder. I didn't insult anyone. I see you wanna make it seem like it's over. I don't need to be glorified as s*** in the light of day, tho.
What about how my dad was able to startle me and make my brain cells die? I will not take that. You want it to be all about Bella. You did it right after I read she was picked up. I was trying to think about it or not, and you disrupted me. Then, you kept getting worse and I didn't feel I could ignore anything.
Stop making someone not talk to me or something. Or affecting someone to not like me and you go all out and can talk to them yourself.
Stop being silly. I will not accept it. I don't like your impersonations. Not all the time. No one does. There's something wrong. It just doesn't seem like these people. People have always got along with me. I don't see why you're doing this to get back out of jealousy. You're so silly. You think if we live in Orlando, everything has to be round or something.
I found my secret deep down was to get rid of Bella getting attention from people that me, Christina, meets. This is for me. You don't just go following me around. I can say no to her, just like you, for these things. I don't think she even wants to do it. It's not right to be mean to me, Ellen. "I don't know what you're smoking."
What about how my dad was able to startle me and make my brain cells die? I will not take that. You want it to be all about Bella. You did it right after I read she was picked up. I was trying to think about it or not, and you disrupted me. Then, you kept getting worse and I didn't feel I could ignore anything.
Stop making someone not talk to me or something. Or affecting someone to not like me and you go all out and can talk to them yourself.
Stop being silly. I will not accept it. I don't like your impersonations. Not all the time. No one does. There's something wrong. It just doesn't seem like these people. People have always got along with me. I don't see why you're doing this to get back out of jealousy. You're so silly. You think if we live in Orlando, everything has to be round or something.
I found my secret deep down was to get rid of Bella getting attention from people that me, Christina, meets. This is for me. You don't just go following me around. I can say no to her, just like you, for these things. I don't think she even wants to do it. It's not right to be mean to me, Ellen. "I don't know what you're smoking."
I want it to stop.
The messing with someone to take them from me and ruin them. I don't believe this is necessary. It's just your punishment, not a safety precaution.
You're Wrong
You're messed up. I wasn't talking to anyone specifically. Quit ruining my life and acting like I feel bad about what I say. It's terribly inconvenient, you Americans, that's for sure.
Problems
I can't have my dad in my life ruining everything. Don't escalate matters.
Stop saying someone won't do something.
You're the one who did something. I don't care what you say!
You can't tell someone what to do. All they're doing is listening to you. Stop acting like I'm a fool. I put work into solving my problems. Yours might never be solved.
Stop saying someone won't do something.
You're the one who did something. I don't care what you say!
You can't tell someone what to do. All they're doing is listening to you. Stop acting like I'm a fool. I put work into solving my problems. Yours might never be solved.
I'm serious.
This was all a bunch of s***. I can get a message at any time and not be able to report it.
"I Wonder as I Wander"
I was wondering if there was no reason to make a big deal of this, but I could not seem to figure it out.
Upset
Look, why'd you blow up and "go and have to change everything?" I just wanted to post what happened to me.
Something to Watch For
I walked like I was someone else upset when I was given a message going to the bathroom. I need to learn to deal with this. These attacks were hurtful I only capitalized to make a point.
Blame
Why do you blame me for what you did to Bella? I pointed Bella in a better direction. I need to shut up, tho. She doesn't talk to me but favorited a Tweet saying she should be sought out for something. She likes to relax and post pictures. She's a good, mature girl. I just don't really participate in your frolicking about her overtaking my life.
Look at what my dad did. He ruined the day.
Look at what my dad did. He ruined the day.
Well
WHAT AM I GONNA DO ABOUT ALL THESE WORTHLESS MESSAGES STUCK IN MY HEAD?
And I didn't do anything but address all the insults you spewed at me so the world can see.
And I didn't do anything but address all the insults you spewed at me so the world can see.
I DON'T WANNA TALK TO YOU!
They did something.. they are calling me future possible kids bad genes. Stop talking like that. They are associating things.. noodles
Just because I talk..
..does not mean I need a lesson to take things in stride. I am not all smiles right now. My dad ruined the day.
I SAID TO STOP
THEY ARE FLOODING ME WITH REPORTABLE INSULTS. I AM NOT TAKING ANY OF THAT! YOU'RE CRAZY!
QUIT FIGHTING ME
THEY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ME BEING MY BROTHER AND HE'S THE OPPOSITE FOR SOME REASON
Don't Wanna
I don't wanna work this out for you. What if I got a message and was not at my computer??
Well
What's right about lodging in my head Bella Thorne forever and not me? You didn't? What's going on? I need details. I'm not bowling this one over.
I SAID STOP YOU BIG BABY
and I mean it. That me saying something means you change it for worse. You just can't stop, huh?
Problem
I need to get away from you and this computer. I said stop being mean cuz I'm talking it out.
They are playing with my brain and made a bear ear grow.
They are playing with my brain and made a bear ear grow.
What are you all?
You're just making me feel worthless. You said someone else got something just because I was talking. I don't think that's fair. You're spoiling someone like a brat.
Well..
Well, this is awkward. I don't like taking things in stride. I forget everything else about it in a way. I find this tacky.
OK
I'm cooled off in a way. I only wanted to say what happened to my head. And the details of the message. Focusing in a way on my head.. You all have me stressed, and my life means shit. I keep jogging. I just get told I'm fatter than a ballerina.
Big Problem
Like, get my dad to stop telling me I lost a relationship. They can't monitor me like that. "Get your hands off me." I can't be monitored like that all the time. Shit happens.
I already said..
..I didn't mind Bella getting attention and gave encouragement and you just knocked me out. I could call the police, tho.
I thought about not saying anything..
..but come on, my parents knocking my brain out? I'm not here to fight tooth and nail.
Issue
Why are you condoning good people? Making a complex message? Or getting away with a simple one.
I'm fine.
I was just a little sad to myself. I guess I got surprised by the new messages. Not that important.
Stop
doing stuff to me. I didn't just do something. You're always mean. You gotta stop. I can't make you, tho! You all are behind this.
Threats
They are getting nastier as nasty as possible. I'm not my parents. I'm me.
I'm just talking out what happened. I'm not gonna sit here like a lunk. You keep sending messages.
I'm just talking out what happened. I'm not gonna sit here like a lunk. You keep sending messages.
You're still a liar.
I didn't do anything. I have the freedom as anyone else. Quit making up my life to be a farce.
What's the point now?
We're not perfect? Trying to bribe me with weird things or just playing? That's fine, but as far as the pretending itself goes..
Upset
I'm tired of posting all this. You keep adding more problems. I read my dad that story, and I felt my forehead like it was hit after I read about Bella being picked up. It felt like it was dead.
Why are you making my life shitty?
Who for?
I mean, I get little messages that are so mean when I load the page. Maybe, its just the err.
I mean, I get little messages that are so mean when I load the page. Maybe, its just the err.
About That Joke
I'm sorry I called someone that. I think my little brother thought that was what I was. I thought it was funny they were a clown. I guess it's inappropriate context. Can you forgive me or don't care. The context was indirect and did not seem insulting but almost like a compliment.
Wait
There is a negative connotation I do not intend. I just mean no one does that. I don't know if you think it's because of her or what. She's like Gramma now to me. Not Mom. Some of you could have her as a Mom more easily.
Only Worry
That it's possible. But anything's possible. Not really.
You know, my dad lacks *logic and I don't know what he's doing paying attention to me. Wonder if I'm the exception to the rule and the rest of life is cool.
*I mean he lacks logic because he just is superstitious about me.
You know, my dad lacks *logic and I don't know what he's doing paying attention to me. Wonder if I'm the exception to the rule and the rest of life is cool.
*I mean he lacks logic because he just is superstitious about me.
What can I do?
They are still being mean to me, like nothing just happened and like I didn't say anything. Should this relationship be severed?
They said I have to be hypnotized but am good, but if you do I am not interested in you.
They said I have to be hypnotized but am good, but if you do I am not interested in you.
A Bad Idea..
I think my dad is uncomfortable and so is my oldest aunt about my new "relationship." They have to think I'm guilty. I don't hold to their thinking. I am a nice person, and if they are jealous I mean they should change themselves, but that's what they're afraid of doing. There are indeed good qualities to retain and intelligence not to erase!!
"Watcha Gonna Do When They Come for You"
Are you just gonna feed me no you can't have this relationship until I think of too many ideas to prove you wrong to waste time doing? This is like a job like a police. Why do you think I'm bad and deny my identity? Cuz I'm ugly? At least I'm smart or right.
So..
Who are you bugging me for?
I disagree with what I disagree with. I know it's a light-hearted joke. That's okay.. I just don't agree! Rule of thumb, don't stay mum. What exactly do you all do?
Why are you superstitious.. that's right I said it.. about me meeting new people when I'm in a bad mood? I wonder if they made me do that. I can't really argue it cuz I don't believe in taking relationships away from people just for something unrelated at the time nor at all for no purpose.
I disagree with what I disagree with. I know it's a light-hearted joke. That's okay.. I just don't agree! Rule of thumb, don't stay mum. What exactly do you all do?
Why are you superstitious.. that's right I said it.. about me meeting new people when I'm in a bad mood? I wonder if they made me do that. I can't really argue it cuz I don't believe in taking relationships away from people just for something unrelated at the time nor at all for no purpose.
Apology
A lot went down, but it comes and goes.
I love everyone. I have to remember to do that.
I feel as though someone found something against me.
It just makes me sad.
They put me in strange situations where I think I only need use common sense like everyone else.
I was upset once and tried to be forceful but not really bad. I think people are reading me in connotations. However, they needed to use it for something. I didn't mean anything bad. I'm sorry if you don't forgive me..
I love everyone. I have to remember to do that.
I feel as though someone found something against me.
It just makes me sad.
They put me in strange situations where I think I only need use common sense like everyone else.
I was upset once and tried to be forceful but not really bad. I think people are reading me in connotations. However, they needed to use it for something. I didn't mean anything bad. I'm sorry if you don't forgive me..
FIXED!
I fixed the mean posts and saved them from IMDb. To explain, I was wondering about Johnny Depp marrying Amber. I didn't post about this, but he seemed strange in public about why he did it. I wonder how lucky Amber feels. It's also a commitment maybe to marry someone who's as old as your dad or who could really be your dad.. I mean, tons of girls are jealous. I am sorry if this is a bad explanation. With Tim Burton, I was upset I thought he was calling me dumb and g** and saying someone was better than us, Bella Thorne. She sure is in our lives a lot. So, one reason I said her name. I hope explaining what happened isn't ruining it for him or something. I figured you'd want an explanation somehow. I thought Tim Burton was saying this cuz I looked at the names of what he was doing. They seemed coincidentially like hidden messages. Some people really have nothing better to do. I'm just saying that's why they do those things. I don't know if it makes sense. "You can't judge a book by its cover."
Leaving the Computer
I pray all goes well in the world and for people to make the best of things. I'll be back!
OK
So, I felt upset inside last night and thought of some words and by accident was thinking of someone else and didn't quite realize it, like in time. I dunno what it is, who all done what I commented about. I'm sorry, like I said yesterday. I've already said I'm not ready for this. People are so mean, and the words took place of my normal feelings. You all did it. So, sorry. You can shrink away from me or "whatever floats your boat."
Oh, and I think people did things to upset me. Sorry! About what they did. I mean, I dunno. It just seemed weird..
Oh, and I think people did things to upset me. Sorry! About what they did. I mean, I dunno. It just seemed weird..
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